It still catches you off guard!

We’ve been living our different kind of normal for three years now. In those three years we’ve gone through the motions of hospital stays, hospital appointments, daily breathing treatments, daily physio, tube feeding, lifting, changing. We are used to wheelchairs, profiling beds, changing equipment, medical supplies. Packing bags & trying to prepare for every eventuality has become second nature. We drive an adapted vehicle. Our daily routine is a bit different to the “normal” & while we try to do “normal” things there are some places/activities that just aren’t accessible. This is our life and has been for the last three years. Although I know our life is different, it’s our normal and it’s what we know now.

I rarely think about the “what ifs” or the “what would’ve” but even after living this life for the last three years there are still moments that catch you off guard. It can be a simple comment, a memory on Facebook, a photo, meeting someone, a conversation, a message – anything that reminds you that your life is different. These moments go on round about me every day & they rarely bother me, I focus on my boys and what works for us as a family but occasionally one of these moments will smack me in the face and I’ll be overcome with the pain, sadness, grief I suppose that our life is not the normal. It hurts sometimes. I guess it’s something that will always be there and these moments will probably always creep up when I least expect them.

The important thing for me is to not dwell on these moments, it’s ok to have a cry, it’s ok to feel upset, it’s ok to feel sadness but don’t stay in that place. Once it’s caught you off guard, deal with it, accept it for what it is, focus on the positives & move on. For every moment that catches me off guard I try to think of a positive about my life, I think of the amazing qualities my boys have & I think about the adventure we experience because our lives are not the normal!

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